Twilight Dictionary
by ekmemerald
Summary: Due to a stroke of genius, the Twilight Dictionary was born. Join us as we scour the dictionary for amusing words and we convert their meanings into Twilightyness. Rated for safety. Better summary inside.
1. A

**OK. I know I know I know that I have not updated any of my stories in a year or some preposterous length of time like that :P**

**I am currently suffering from writers block and I have also discovered that some of those stories are hilariously set out with the plotlines running amok and randomness also thrown in there. **

**So this is something a little different ^_^**

**This idea came to me in a stroke of genius as my best friend, Elizabeth, and I were contemplating the entertaining acts and ideas of a certain Mike Newton as he considered why oh why did Bella choose Edward "the freak"? **

**Simple answer: Edward Cullen = Sexy.**

**Then elaborated to a very amusing rant, "He is just so so awesome and super sexy. I mean it. The man is a sex god. If there was a Twilight dictionary, there would be the definition of sexy, and then Edward Cullen."**

**And so, the Twilight Dictionary was born.**

**Join us, as we scour the dictionary for fun words that we may relate to Twilight and have fun with the definitions. **

**We may also add our own words ;)**

**Also, we have found that we can only use, like, 2 words or so from each page in the dictionary, as there are far far too many words and we would be on the computer for the rest of our obsessed existences attempting to finish this :S**

**We do not know if anyone else has done something like this… if they have, we didn't know**** and no plagiarism meant, and if they haven't then YAY! Go originalness **

_**Disclaimer: Alas, although there has been much begging and pleading and praying to God, Twilight does not and never will belong to me. Sadness ensues.**_

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**A**

**Abase **

– An act a certain Isabella Swan seemed to inflict upon herself each and every time she attempted to walk.

To humiliate or degrade oneself.

**Abduct**

– Something Edward Cullen once considered to do to Bella, for her own "protection"

To carry off, kidnap.

**Abominable**

– A word Edward would use to describe himself, much to the protest of Bella and a legion of Team Edward fangirls.

Detestable, very bad.

**Abscond**

– Something many of the Cullens did in New Moon. Causing utter anguish and emo-ness upon Bella.

To leave secretly.

**Acquiesce**

– Something Edward finally did under the pressure of Bella and all of the fangirls eagerly anticipating awesomeness in Breaking Dawn.

Agree to what someone wants.

**Adulterous**

– Something we all wish that anyone of the Cullen boys would be, just for us.

Sexual unfaithfulness of a husband or wife.

**Afterlife **

– Something that we are ever grateful that the Cullens, especially Edward (and Emmett, as he is awesome) have endured, as without it, we would have a very very boring and normal existence.

Life after death.

**Alopecia**

– Something that would cause the suicide of Rosalie Hale, should this happen to her.

Loss of hair.

**Ambivalence **

– Something Edward often endures, as he is a mixed up fella, with emotional issues. Usually caused by Bella.

State of feeling two conflicting emotions at the same time.

**Anabolic steroid**

– Something many of the humans in Forks believe certain members of the Cullen family (yes, YOU Emmett) have been using.

Steroid hormone used to stimulate muscle and bone growth.

**Androgynous**

– Something we firmly believe Lauren Mallory to suffer from.

To have both male and female characteristics.

**Antagonize**

– Something that Jacob Black does to innocent, nice people just to be rude and uncool.

To arouse hostility in, annoy.

**Anticlimax**

– Something many people (not Elizabeth and myself) considered Breaking Dawn to be.

Disappointing conclusion to a series of events.

**Antics **

– Things performed by Emmett, usually to the expense of Edward, Jasper or some other poor unsuspecting soul.

Absurd acts or postures.

**Anvil**

– Something many Team Edwards would wish to fall upon a certain paedophilic shape-shifter, who shall remain unnamed.

A heavy iron block on which metals are hammered into particular shapes.

**Aphasia**

– Something that can be caused by the presence of Edward Cullen.

Disorder of the central nervous system that affects the ability to speak and understand words.

**Arson **

– A crime that the Cullens have committed many-a-time to preserve their existence and hide their vamptasticness.

Crime of intentionally setting property on fire.

**Awesome**

– Something all of the Cullens are, due to their vampiric nature.

Inspiring awe. Excellent or outstanding.

**Awkward**

– One of the many characteristics of the human Isabella Swan in which causes her to inflict further damage upon herself. It is also something that Edward finds endearing.

Clumsy or ungainly; embarrassed.

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**This one wasn't that funny. The A section of the dictionary is craptastic. **

**Give us suggestions for words that you would like us to put in :D**

**The most fun word of them all is Alopecia :D**

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I just re-uploaded this, due to the fact that it was quite confusing and un-readable. But it is good now.

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**Go on, click on that very enticing looking button at the bottom of the page. You know you want to...**

**Review Review Review!!

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_Elise _

_- With help and inspiration from Elizabeth.  
_


	2. B

**Hee, hee. I am going to be good on updating this one ;)**

**I have Shelby to help with the definitions this time.**

**Let us hope that there are many more fun words in B than there were in A.**

**We were doing this in between R.E. homework, so let us hope that I didn't accidentally put anything about Jesus in here :S

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_**Disclaimer: We own nothing, except these super twisted definitions. All belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

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**B**

**Bacchanalia **

- Aro's favourite kind of party

A wild drunken party or orgy **(XD)**

**Bestial**

- As Bella should have been in Breaking Dawn, Book 3. However, she was not, due to her being above bestialness.

Brutal or savage; of or like a beast.

**Bet**

- Something I would never do against Alice

To stake something on the outcome of an event.

**Bibliophile***

**(****A.N. It sounds much more amusing than it is)**

- Carlisle Cullen can most definitely be described as one of these.

Someone who collects or is fond of books.

**Bleed**

- Something that should not be done around Jasper

Emit or draw blood

**Bloomers**

- Something Alice would kill you for wearing

Woman's baggy knickers

**Blubber**

- Something Bella does a lot of.

To sob without restraint.

**Boogie**

- Charlie and Billy practise this regularly. Despite the low functionality of Billy's legs.

Dance to fast pop music.

**Botch**

- Something Bella did on her 18th birthday.

To spoil something through clumsiness.

**Botulism**

- Something Bella and Edward believed Renesmee to be, rather early on.

Severe food poisoning.

**Brazen**

- One of Emmett's many qualities.

Shameless and bold.

**Brevity**

- Alice is teased about her brevity quite often.

Shortness

**Bronze**

- The well known and much loved hair colour of Edward Cullen.

Made of, or coloured like, bronze

**Bunkum **

- Something many outsiders would think that Twilighters are "jabbering on about" when we try to explain Twilight to them.

Nonsense

**Buzz**

- Something of Bella's Edward "kills" during a certain moment in Breaking Dawn.

Sense of excitement.

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_***We were much disappointed by bibliophile; we were hoping that it meant someone who has a sexual fetish for the occurrences in the Bible. Alas, we were let down, but it still sounds very amusing ;) **_

_**Very appropriate for our R.E. homework.

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**We will leave it here, as we are quite frightened to go back into the B section of the dictionary, as there are some very amusing words in there that we might be tempted to use if we come across them again.**

**In which case, we would probably have to change the rating on this FanFic. **

**And it is already quite bad already.**

**Let us tell you, the dictionary is **_**smutty**_**.**

**It really should not be made available to children under a certain level of maturity.**

**And we come under that category XD**

**So, this one is quite short. But unless you would like us to come up with definitions for things like brothel and buggery…**

**We just won't do it. **

**Are minds are too twisted already.**

**No need to fuel the flame.**

**Also, there is no hate against Bella… even though it seems that way. We do seem to make an awful lot of fun of her. **

**Oh well.**

**Team Jacobs will be pleased, there is little Jacob bashing in this chapter.**

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Our favourite words today are Bacchanalia and Bibliophile ^_^

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**Reviewing = Much love from a very very pleased and thankful Twilight fangirl.**

**Review please.**

**It will make my (very very boring, cold and English) day.

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_Elise_

_- With further help, inspiration (and teasing) from Shelby_


	3. C

**GAH!!**

**=(**

**Elise is incredibly incredibly sad.**

**I just wrote, like, 6 definitions and then my laptop went retarded and turned off.**

**And they didn't even come up on auto recover, and of course, I had no time to save them. I was on a roll.**

**And now they are gone.**

**Forever.**

**Never to be seen again =(**

***sigh***

**So, I must sift through the dictionary again and re-write them all. **

**If I can remember them.**

**But it will take me ages and I am doing R.E. again =|

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**Anywayz…**

**Ha ha, I have updated!!**

**FOR THE WIN!!**

**Even if it has been a million years.**

**=P

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**This chapter is dedicated to dearest Elizabeth =) As she brings gum to school =D

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_**Disclaimer: These sadden me. I do not own Twilight or anything equ**__**ally as awesome, just a craptastic laptop.

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**Ha ha, I am saving the author's note now _**

**It's frickery.

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**C**

**Cadaver**

- Something a very stupid person would describe a vampire as.

A corpse

**Caffeine **

- Something that should NOT be given to a certain Renesmee Carlie Cullen. Unless one would enjoy a hyperactive half vampire.

A stimulant found in tea and coffee

**Callous**

- As a certain Jacob Black often acts. Especially in Breaking Dawn… and Eclipse.

Showing no concern for other people's feelings

**Canoodle**

- Something our favourite Twilight couples do often. It also sounds cute.

Kiss and cuddle

**Carnal**

- Something many Twilighters' thoughts were, whilst reading each and every one of the books, even if the majority of the books were not of this nature.

Of a sexual or sensual nature

**Castrate**

- A word that would be utter blasphemy if spoken around Emmett Cullen.

Deprive of vigour or masculinity _(remove the testicles of) _**[XD]**

**Caterpillar**

- Something many described Robert Pattinson's eyebrows to be

Wormlike larva of a moth or butterfly

**Celestial**

- Something many would believe Edward Cullen's appearance to be.

Heavenly, divine.

**Chaste**

- Something Edward ensured he and Bella both were – despite Bella's efforts in Eclipse.

Abstaining from sex outside of marriage or altogether

**Cliff**

- Something Bella likes to jump off of.

Steep rock face, especially along the sea shore

**Coffin**

- Something vampires frown upon.

A box in which a corpse is buried or cremated

**Craptastic**

- Fantastically crap i.e. VERY crap. Like my laptop.

**Crepuscular**

- A good title for a FanFiction, or a similar vampire novel.

Of or like twilight

**Cygnet**

- A rather young Bella

A young swan

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**Ah, well the C part of the dictionary makes me laugh very much.**

**But there is a lot of randomness about Britain in there.**

**And I have just found out that as the American's have the CIA, we have the CID.**

**How craptastic is that??**

**Very.**

**That just takes away all the awesomeness of being in a rebel police force.**

**Whatever.

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**Lalalalala.**

**This was quite good.**

**They should put craptastic in the REAL dictionary =D

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**If you have ever had a lunatic savage dog run amok through your school…**

**REVIEW!!!**

**And review if you haven't =P

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_Much love and cookies and lollypops_

_~Elise_


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